Wednesday 9 August 2017

My fat phase (or: the time I was a little bit chunky)

Hello there my growing pack!!

What a great first week in Blogland I've had! Thanks to all my new friends for taking the time to drop by, leave a comment, and follow my adventures.

You are all the best!

I'm so excited I made a meme

Now before we go any further, there is something I feel I should get off my chest.

This is quite hard for me to admit, so bear with me as I build up the courage to share my shame...

Wait for it....
Okay - here we go...

As you all know, I'm an incredibly handsome man -


Adore me - you know you want to

But.. And here's the shocking part -

I. Haven't. Always. Been. This. Handsome.

*GASP!!!*
What?! But you're so spunky!!

I know, it's hard to believe. But even someone as genetically blessed as myself goes through bad patches, and there was none worse than my dreaded Fat Phase.

What a lard-arse

As you can see, I was a real wobbler - an obese little rolly polly.

In fact, if you'd decked me out in pink Lycra I'm sure I would have been mistaken for a baby hippo.

I have no idea how it happened. But I blame mum.

You see, when I first arrived, I was perfect -

Eight weeks old and perfect.

And mum was (understandably) besotted.


Of course I'm adorable but PUT ME DOWN

So when I wanted something - ANYTHING - she simply couldn't say no:

An extra helping of food?


Of course

Another treat?


Why not?

Maybe a snifter more ice cream?


Take the whole tub.

The weight crept up on me like the evil cat that lives down the end of my street, and before I knew what had happened, I went from being the park stud to the park dud :(

My friends were suddenly too fast and agile for me, and other humans were commenting on my "unusual shape."

Please don't walk away.. I'm still the same great guy :(

It was devastating.

Mum took me to the vet, and I was made to stand on a stupid metal thing, while humans tut-tutted and shook their heads.

The scales are clearly broken - I'm outta here

And then - as if the humiliation I'd already suffered wasn't bad enough - it happened...

I was put on a strict rationing system that I can only assume was taken from ancient Medieval torturing rituals.

I was put on a "DIET."

Suddenly my ample servings of food were halved...

Are you joking?!
My treats were restricted to just one a day...

That's a ridiculously small-sized cupcake

And my lavish helpings of human treats were scrapped. Entirely.


Give. Me. The. Dixie. Cup.

At times I feared the hunger pains I suffered would overcome me -


Sooooooooo hungry

But after a while, something remarkable happened!

I got a renewed spring in my step...

Springy

I could keep up with my friends again...

Well... almost...

And - best of all - I got my unbelievable good looking body back!!!

Look at that svelte silhouette!

It was a rough time - but I made it through.

And thank goodness I'm back to being spunky - not chunky.

Until next time!!! 

"...because there's nothing minor about being a Morris..."

10 comments:

  1. Oh nose, that dreaded 'Diet' word. I hate standing on the Vetman scales, I'm sure they are 'fixed' by Mr Vetman to lie!
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

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    1. Hi Princess Leah! Yes I think you must be right about vets 'rigging' the scales! I always come in heavier than I should. There's obviously something wrong with them 😂

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  2. Oh Morris you were never fat!
    My mom calls me a beached whale.
    It's all my dad fault though.
    xo Astro

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    1. Thanks Astro! I'm glad you appreciate that my size is great! Your dad sounds like he spoils you which is great! I love being spoilt 😂

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  3. I must say that diet paid off!! I used to be a little hefty too but not anymore! We are a little bit sad. We are following you now and left a comment, but you haven't visited us. Guess you are busy. Barks and licks and love, Dakota DakotasDen

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    1. Hi Dakota! Thanks for noticing the diet paid off, and sorry to hear you had to go through it too! Sorry I was so slow to visit but I've signed up to follow you now so can't wait to follow all your adventures!!

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  4. Lady's angelLoki use to go through phases she referred to him as pleasantly plump. Don't feel ashamed, feel awesome that you did the work and are no fabulous.

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    1. Oh thanks - what a nice comment! I do feel proud that I'm back in shape, but it's hard not to feel ashamed when I see those photos of myself 😂 I like your term "pleasantly plump"!

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  5. I so understand - when Mom and Dad adoapted me from the high kill shelter I was SOO sick and skinny. So they gave me all kinds of extra treats. Then Mom's best friend came over. Her elderly parents had some health issues so she had not visited us in a few months. She looked at me and said I looked "like a SAUSAGE" "A Sausage? On the shame". Mom put me on one of those diet things (never trust something with the word "die" in it) and I was back in shape in no time. But I know how hard it is. We are very proud of you for sticking to the program like a trooper.

    Abby Lab

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    Replies
    1. Hey Abby Lab, I'm so glad you understand! It's so tough not to eat too much when treats are so delicious! Don't listen to people who say you look like a sausage... I'm sure you looked great even with a few extra kilos.... the way I look at it is when you're a bit bigger there's just more to love! But I must admit I am feeling better being a bit more slim... Stay in touch!
      Morrie!

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